Q: “Hello, I am a 27 year old Christian male. I am engaged to be married soon, my fiancé is 17 yrs older than me. I want to make it special for her on our wedding night but I’ve got no idea what to do. She is older and more experienced than me. I am worried that I will not be able to satisfy her sexually. Have you got any hints on how I can make it special for her?”
A: The answer is simple…Ask her to teach you.
Don’t let your ego or what you think you are supposed to know keep you from the best experience you can have. I suggest that EVERYONE, no matter the age, to ask their spouses to teach them how to make love to them in the ways they most enjoy. Doing that can be a wonderful – and fun – experience.
Now I have a question for you. Have you thought about your future. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t marry someone older than you. If the two of you wish to do that and will love each other as you should, go for it. However, have you considered how time will change things because of your age differences? Be aware that there is a great deal of difference in a “27 year old being married to a 44 year old” and a “57 year old being married to a 74 year old.” Yep, that could be a great 30 years, but at that point in your life you will likely be in a very different place physically than she will be. Oh, and it won’t happen suddenly 30 years from now. Each year you age, you will notice her aging effects more than you notice your own.
Again, I’m not trying to talk you out of this. I’m just saying that you need to consider all possibilities.
May God be with you.
Hello it’s me again, thanks so much for your helpful advice. I hav already considered the implications of the age gap and I am committed to
Her for life, I will look after her when she gets old. I’ve told her that. Our luv is true luv and also I know God brought us together. We are perfectly suited 2 each other despite how it seems in the natural. What u said about letting her teach me was very helpful, it put my mind at ease. I have another question, what is it ok 2 talk abt sexually
Before we get married as we want 2 b prepared so that we don’t hav false expectations or wld u say it’s better not to tlk abt sex until were married, in case it leads to temptation. Also is there any sexual practices that you wld say are not pleasing to God within our marriage? I would appreciate your thoughts on this. GBU.
I have sexual fantasies abt my fiancé sumtimes, I do pray abt it amd try and stop but I find it hard. Wot cn I do?
Hello, please could you answer my questions about preparing for marriage and also the issue of temptation? Thnx
Hey, Matthew… Congrats on your engagement first of all. You sound a lot like the guy I’m currently head over heels in love with. I remember trying to explain that my looks wouldn’t last forever and before I could really get the entire sentence out he was on his toes in heated defiance saying, “And you don’t think I’ve considered that?” Obviously, you’ve considered that or you wouldn’t be where you are now and neither would I in my own life.
There is nothing wrong with fantasizing about your fiance. Nothing. I’m sure of that. Besides..if you didn’t then how could you make your wedding day special?
First off.. try not to drink too much before your big night even though you might be nervous. Being well prepared mentally will help with that. Next, making it special will depend on your sweeties personality. Like renting a cabin in the woods if she likes to camp or flowers leading to the bed if she’s a romantic. Does she read romance novels? If so, which one does she like the best and why? Ya know? Some more adventurous couples would most certainly have their own way. I’m sure if you think hard you will know what to do and if all else fails at least try to act like your not nervous and go in for the kiss with her face gently in hand.
You should be open to one another in the bedroom and not self conscious at all. If you focus on how much you want her and less on your experience level or whether or not God is disapproving then I’m thinking it should be natural. A nice warm jacuzzi bubble bath and a mimosa is good too.
Last thoughts for you and all other commenters.. I already have 3 couples in my family that are in older female/younger male relationships and they are the only relationships in our family that really stood the test of time. In addition, my boyfriend who can’t wait to ask me to marry him is more worried that another young man might steal me away than he is about my age. You know why? Because men like you and him are dead serious about what you want and your numbers are ever increasing. In the Houston area it seems to be dramatic. The younger guys here are loud and proud about their desires that only include older women. It’s the rest of the world that has to figure that out for themselves. We can just show them. They will believe us after they missed out on their chance on happiness because of their own insecurities.
My man is 6’5 and I am 5’11. We look like we are the same age but the truth is he is 23 and I am 35. When we started dating our families were not surprized about our age because they already knew he consistently dated older and mine knew I consistently paired up with younger. They were; however, overjoyed to see that we had both met our match and anticipate us becoming family soon.
All you should be thinking about is the fantasies you already have going on inside of you waiting to come out. It would be wrong not to.
Oh…and if you need me. I will check back with this site and help any way that I can with moral support.
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