What Kind Of Church Do You Attend?

Written by guest blogger Andrea Frazer

One of the things I’ve been praying for lately is for a new church. The one I’m at is lovely. It’s where I went to school and where I’ve attended countless weddings, funerals and First Communions.

But it’s not as engaging as I’d like. I’ve left this large institution a few times before but, like the prodigal son… er… daughter, I always found myself coming back, tail between my legs. (And sadly, no one greeted me with open arms and threw me a party. That blew.)

With a mixture of half relief, have resignation, I’d start in again every Sunday, putting the burden on myself to get inspired by God.

Except on some Sundays… like yesterday… when I was fighting a cold and honestly found more inspiration from the Daily News budget cuts stories than I did for attending mass. (Bad, Andrea!)  

I’m annoyed with myself because being a Christian should never be about the service or the congregation only, right? And yet, the more I pray on the matter, the more I know that I’m not just being insecure or wishy washy. This isn’t about my shortcomings only. God is there in my present church – no doubt – but I personally can’t hear Him. Why?

Is it too many negative experiences from grade school?

Is it the structure of the mass?

Is it that I go without Rex and it’s all on my shoulders to keep my kids from bugging the retired nun sitting next to us during a homily that barely I can follow without wanting to fall asleep drooling on her head piece? (That would be a bad “habit” to get into. Get it? Dumb joke? Okay, moving on.)

It’s probably a little of all of these reasons, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. I’m not excited about Sunday morning. I go because I love Jesus and I want my kids raised Chrisitian. But I despise the experience.

Sunday has to be more than that.  Sure, it’s up to us as individuals to invest in our faith – not just a system or in a congregation. But Jesus’s own words even say,  “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18, 20 (NIV version.) I’d like the two or three people that I see on Sunday to be people who are woven into my family.

I want them to be people my husband feels comfortable with.

I want them to be people who value my children.

I am quite certain if I committed to my current church I could have this experience, but my heart just isn’t there. I need a change. But I’m not sure what.  I’d like to make a move sooner than later, though. It’s unfair to keep switching my kids back and forth.

What about you? Are you happy at your current church? Is it tiny with an emphasis on fellowship? Is it a mega church where the minister wears a microphone and looks half Tommy Lee/half hip Bible Thumper? Is it medium sized church like the Berenstain Bear’s Little Brown Church in the Vale?

Speaking of, check out my atheist husband reading “The Berenstain Bears go to Sunday School” with my daughter – she’s buried under the covers. She chose that book herself this past Sunday. I can’t make this stuff up. God is working in my life for sure.)

So tell me – do you LOVE your church? Why? Why not?

More of my writing can be found at www.lifehappins.com




  1. Julia

    I love both of my churches. Yes. I go to 2 churches.

    One is the church I have attended for about 25 years. The church has grown and evolved as my Christian walk has grown and evolved. Neither is stagnant. The worship service is Christ centered and joyful in praising our Lord and worshiping God our Father. It is also the church that has been with me through divorce, loss of parents, the loss of my son and a near death experience with a stage 3 cancer. You cannot replace those relationships.

    The other is a church I have been attending for a little over a year. I mainly began attending because it is one of the few churches in the Atlanta area with a strong ministry for older Christian singles. Where you need a place for you husband and children to feel comfortable as well as you, I needed a place to fit in as an older single Christian woman. The mission of the church is to help each person develop a personal relationship with Jesus. I am in a community group with 10 women (some married, some single) that will continue for 18 months as we develop close relationships with each other as well as study the Word.

    Be prayerful about your search. You might stay where you are and discover that you get more out of the worship than you thought. You might go somewhere else, or you might find a blend that works for you as I have.

  2. andrea frazer

    Julia – Thank you for your thoughtful response. You are so right – I need to be prayerful. Perhaps a blend is exactly what I need?

    I’m happy you have found something that works for you. I am also so sorry about your son. That has to be rough.

    Stay in touch –


  3. Scott

    Yep, I love my church. Fantastic, biblical teaching, great modern worship (biased opinion, since I am one of the worship leaders), strong sense of community, and a solid small group program.

    Above all that: it’s all about Jesus.

  4. Irishmama7

    Yes I love my current church. I do beleive that sometimes God let us become ‘itchy’. At least for me that is how it feels. Two years ago we took the summer to try out different churches. After being very involved and nourished at our church (at the time) it had become an obligation. I don’t believe God ever EVER wants to be and obligation. Anyway so we looked around. The amazing thing is that the church we became apart of and love, was not even on our ‘church radar’. We were looking for something a bit more contemporary than our last church and something maybe a bit closer to home. Our current church while does do contemporary here and there, definitely does not consistently falll into that category. And as for distance…it’s twice as far as our last church. Which makes for early (most of the time rushed) getting ready for church Sundays. We visited this church because a college friend was guest preaching and we felt called back. (That is the short version) I also think that God doesn’t want us to become too comfortable in our faith journey or churches. We should always be stretched or growing or challenged. It’s not fun or easy, but in the long run I think it’s worth it. On a side note see listen to your kids and their expereinces as you visit other places of worship. Maybe Rex will come visit a few (even if it is the kids he is going for). God works in amazingly small ways sometimes.

  5. Joy

    I loove my church!! I’m a fellowship person and my church is all about that; home cell groups, single sisters’ group, youth group, sunday school class, not to mention the Teens Church where I’m a “worker”. Sadly, I’ll be leaving after my wedding in 8 weeks’ time, to join my sweetheart at his church. Although it’s “a mega church where the minister wears a microphone and looks half Tommy Lee/half hip Bible Thumper”, the Word is sound. I’m just not eager to get lost in that crowd. I got some advice from my pastor (Find a fellowship within) and the woman who teaches my Sunday School class (depend on the Holy Spirit and remember that your brethren in Iran are not free to gather for worship at all) so I’m trying to be optimistic!


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