Q: My husband is addicted to porn and our marriage has been suffering for the last 4 years. We tried counseling about a year and a half ago and just a few months ago he tried going to a coach. He thinks we need to work on our marriage. I don’t believe it will do any good as long as he is not working on the porn addiction, but he won’t listen. Any advice?
A: Why not work on your marriage and his porn problem at the same time?
First, the porn. Find Celebration Recovery in your area and urge your husband to go. You can find the closest meeting by clicking here. Insist that he go. After all, you are in the driver’s seat in this situation. If he doesn’t want to get the help he needs, I suggest you consider making him do so anyway. Addicts don’t do well with their addictions until they have to face the consequences of those addictions. No matter how much you complain, as long as an addict can get away with his addiction, he will. Write a contract telling him what you will do if you find out he is using porn. Sign it and give it to him. If you catch him, you MUST do what you said you would do in the contract and make him face consequences or the contract is useless.
Many couples who attend our LovePath 911 workshop for couples in crisis have at least one spouse with an addiction. This workshop is not designed to deal with addictions, but we have found that addicts who complete the three-day workshop now have the motivation to deal with their addictions.
Our LovePath 911 workshops usually are held in Nashville, Tennessee.