Q: How would you know when God sends you your life partner? How would you know that this is him, that this is the man for me?

A: This may sound as if I don’t believe in the power of God, but I am not of the opinion that God always sends every person the mate s/he should have. There isn’t any scripture that I know of that says He will nor one that says how you would know if He did.

I prayed for my daughters’ spouses when they were still young. I asked that God would direct them to a mate that is compatible with their beliefs and values, with their personalities, and with our family as a whole. I believe that God answers prayer, but I didn’t expect God to pick out just one candidate and somehow introduce him into my daughter’s life. He can, of course. But He may just as well work through putting several young men in my daughter’s life so that she can compare, learn the strengths and weaknesses of, and decide which one she would be willing to commit to for the rest of her life.

You see, whoever you marry, you marry a set of problems. Marry that guy and you get a weirdo family. Marry that one and he’s a Mama’s boy. That one over there has self-esteem issues. The one on the corner has tendencies that may lead him to become an addict. No one, and I mean no one, is perfect. Therefore, there is not the perfect person for my daughter. As I said, God may send the best of the lot, or He may just let her choose from those that she interacts with over time. I pray for her opportunity and her wisdom, not that God will have Prince Charming parachute down our chimney.

Don’t waste your time looking for a sign from God as to whether this is the one. Instead, look into the person as deeply as you can to see if he is the man (and the set of problems) that you are willing to spend a lifetime with, flaws and all.