I’ll never forget the time in North Carolina when I told an audience, “Your largest sex organ is between your ears.” Some guy in the back did a perfect Scooby imitation with that drawn out “huuuuuh?”
Without a doubt it’s true biologically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Research shows that a woman may become physiologically aroused (as measured by the oxygenation-temperature method or vaginal photoplethysmography — no I didn’t make those up) and still have no awareness of her own arousal if she isn’t also mentally and emotionally aroused. A woman can even have an orgasm yet deny that there was any physiological arousal because she experienced no mental or emotional arousal in the process. So not only does the brain release the chemicals and “feel” the sensation for and of sex, it also must interpret the experience as desirable and/or fulfilling.
Men are just as complicated. Don’t buy the lie that they aren’t. One of my friends, Dr. Barry McCarthy, one of the leading sex experts in America, will set you straight if you imply otherwise. (And I’ll never forget the experience.)
What does all this mean?
Make love to the mind and heart — even to the spirit — as you make love to the body and you will give your partner the most fulfilling sexual experience he or she can have.
I look forward to your suggestions as to how you think one can do that. Then I’ll share some specific thoughts of my own.