Maybe you’re like me and occasionaly flare up at some perceived attack or insult. Or maybe you’re just having a bad day and it takes nothing at all to set you off. I remember one time the doc put me on a new medicine that made me grouchy as a bear just out of hibernation.
In the scheme of things it really doesn’t matter why you get angry, pop off, cause a scene, or hurt someone’s feelings. Believe me, most of the time they don’t care to hear your excuse as to why you did it. It hurt and that’s what they focus on.
So rather than allowing myself to react, which is my nature, I’m trying to learn to shut up and be still. (Body language can be just as offensive as bad language…) As James wrote it, quick to listen, slow to speak. Now if I could just master that one thing, my people skills would grow exponentially immediately. Especially with my wife and daughters.
Yep, there is plenty of research to prove it but who needs proof? We’ve all done it and already know it’s true. We most easily hurt the ones we love. Why? Because we feel safe with them; down deep we think we can get away with hurting them because we believe they won’t leave us — that sooner or later they’ll get over it and everything will be okay anyway.
That’s a very selfish way to justify acting like a jerk. Or jerkette.
So, let’s make a pact with each other. Before we open our mouths, flare our eyes, stiffen our necks, or blow our tops, let’s just remember that sometimes the most effective way we can communicate is to shut our mouths and be very, very still.
Do that for a few days and see how much more your family and friends enjoy being around you. I predict they will enjoy you more and that you, yourself, will like the quieter you.