QUESTION: My wife and I have been married for 56 years. For the past 20+ years she has refused any sexual advances whatsoever, even hugs and kisses. I still have the need but know it is wrong to go outside the marriage for sexual fulfillment.Two widow women older than I are aware of the problem and are willing to meet my sexual needs with no strings attached (intercourse and/or oral). Any advice?
ANSWER: By refusing your sexual advances, your wife is destroying your marriage. The simplest way to say it is that she is violating the Word of God.
1 Corinthians 7: 2-5 says, “each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
The last part of that verse applies directly to you. You are being tempted because of your need for sexual fulfillment. However, remember that the key word here is temptation. In short, adultery is wrong.
Does that mean you have no recourse? Actually, you do. If you cannot control your need for sexual fulfillment and she continues to sin by refusing to fulfill you, divorce her and marry a woman who will.
My guess is that others will reply that you have no right to divorce her because she has not been unfaithful to you. I disagree. Jesus said divorce could take place for fornication. Fornication is sexual sin that violates the marriage contract. My belief is that refusing to obey 1 Corinthians 7 is a sexual sin that violates the marrige contract. If she were physically unable, that would be one thing. However, to refuse you for twenty years and not even allow kissing and hugging is just wrong.
Either forget about sexual fulfillment or change wives. Taking advantage of offers from other women is adultery.