Sometimes a couple would do better having a mentor couple than seeing a counselor or therapist. The problem is that most people don’t have a mentor couple and don’t know how to find them.
Here are some things to look for if you would like to have a mentor couple:
1. They have a good relationship themselves. Not perfect, but good.
2. They are old enough to have experience and wisdom.
3. They are people that you and your spouse feel comfortable being around, and that you feel you could trust.
4. They are within your reach. In other words, they aren’t some couple you’ve heard about who have no idea who you are.
5. You have the courage to ask if they will mentor you. When they ask what that means, tell them that you need coaches to visit with occasionally that can help you think things through, reach compromises when you seem to be at an impasse, and find answers when you have questions about what to do next.
If you don’t know a couple like this, ask ministers at your church. Tell them what you are looking for and ask whom they will recommend. If the ministers don’t have good suggestions, ask the church secretaries. They usually know everyone and have a good read about people.
Oh, last thing, if you meet the criteria for a mentor couple, tell your ministers and church secretaries that you are available and to steer to you a couple looking for a mentor.