QUESTION: I hope this message is not out of line. With your educational background and Christian beliefs, you seem to be the perfect person to ask about sex relations in marriage. My question is this; in marriage is sex restricted to intercourse? Is oral sex a sin? Is it impure? Please answer my question. The closer I get to God the more I have doubts about my personal life with my husband.
ANSWER: I think I shocked Lester Holt on the Today Show a few years ago when I listed the three principles I believe sum up Bible sexual prohibitions. We were live, so he could not do anything but gulp when I gave my answer to his question about what God does not allow.
First, no one should be involved in the sexual relationship except the husband and wife. No other partners for either or both either in reality or fantasy.
Second, nothing should occur that harms either person physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Third, it never involve any animal. (Later Mike Cope put on his blog that he likely would not have mentioned that one, but that he yielded to my wisdom in helping people with sexual problems.) Though some find this third principle disturbing, it is in the Bible and people do this kind of thing. Therefore, it should be mentioned.
Therefore, as to your question “is oral sex a sin” I reply that it is not. It is totally up to the couple as to whether they wish to practice oral sex, but if they choose to do so they should do it with pleasure and enjoyment. God does not condemn it, though some of His followers do so.
It would take a while to give all the verses that combine to form these three principles. If you wish to study them, or just learn more, get the Biblical Sex e-Book and audio. You can download both for less than fifteen bucks. Specifically in reference to the question “Is oral sex a sin?” I give references in the Song of Solomon that indicate she asked Solomon to perform oral sex on her.
If you cannot afford the e-Book / audio study, send me a question about the Song of Solomon verses and I will share a couple of those in this blog.