How Does Staying Together for the Kids Affect the Kids?

QUESTION: How does staying together for the kids affect the kids?

ANSWER: To answer this, I give you a direct quote from a lady whose marriage we helped. She and her husband came to our workshop because of his infidelity. She was ready to divorce and move on, as you might expect.

She posted this Facebook.

“This morning as **** [her young daughter] and I were saying our prayers on the way to school she said, “Jesus, thank you that Mommy & Daddy love each other and go on dates.” If ever I doubted choices in forgiveness in that moment all doubt was gone. Lots of thanks first to God and also to Joe Beam”

Forgive the apparent immodesty of leaving in the part of the quote that refers to me personally. I started to take it out but realized that I should not. It was not I who saved her marriage, of course. She and her husband did that. However, our team worked with them to help them overcome their difficulties, forgive, and reconcile.

Unless there is something happening in the home that puts kids in danger physically or emotionally, how could there be anything but good for them if their parents stay together? I think that when parents consider the welfare of their children – not just their children’s wishes – they know that every child does better if they can be in a home with parents who love each other. If the parents don’t love each other, is it not worth TRYING to repair the marriage for the sake of their children?

Kids need security. This world is scary enough – and certainly filled with enough disappointments, pain, and frustration – without taking part of a child’s sense of security and stability by removing a parent from the home. How does staying together for the sake of the kids affect the kids? It gives them some security that the people who brought them into this world and love them will never abandon them. It gives them a sense of self-worth to know that Dad or Mom love them enough that they won’t trade this family for a new one because someone else came along that took their love.

Just as our team helped the woman who put the quote on Facebook, we can help you. If you are willing to try to save your marriage and make it good again – even if that seems impossible to you – please call us toll free at 866-903-0090 or email us at

See accompanying blog: Should we stay together for the kids?

See accompanying blog: Can a couple be happy if they stay together for the kids

See accompanying blog: Should a child choose between divorcing parents?