We did an online poll for my visit with Woody & Jim in the Morning today on 107.5 The River here in Nashville. The question was, “Which is most important to you?” The choices were: 1) your mate takes care of his/her body and keeps looking good, 2) your mate fulfills your sexual desires but lets his/her body go, or 3) your mate trips and falls under a bus. (The last one was there because Woody and Jim are hilarious…)
60% choose number one — the attractive mate
33% chose number two — sexual desires fulfilled
7% chose number three — mate under a bus (hopefully they were kidding)
The numbers aren’t surprising. For years I’ve taught sessions to those who work with marriages and discussed with them the role physical appearance plays in marital satisfaction. In the counseling world one of the “secrets” that typically doesn’t get talked about in public is the number of husbands who love their wives but are no longer sexually attracted to them because they are overweight. Talking about that on TV or radio tends to rile listeners who feel that it is prejudiced toward people who struggle with weight. We certainly don’t want to offend, but the truth is — whether we like it or not — physical appearance matters from the time we first meet until we die. As I employ the word appearance, I must broaden that to include all five senses. In a survey I did a couple years ago, the greatest physical deterrent to a wife’s being attracted sexually to her husband was hygiene. They were turned off by cigarette or cigar breath, unshaven faces over the weekend, coming in dirty and doing nothing about it, or, (dare I say it) certain smells that the human body sometimes makes. In short, women were just as concerned about the man’s physicality as were the men about the women’s.
So what do we learn from all this?
It is never okay to let yourself go. Thinking, “Well, we’re married now and I don’t have to watch the calories as much, or worry about getting to the gym as often” is not wise. Though our appearance changes with age, the truth is that we should be as physically attractive as possible for our mates as long as we both live.
Just before I wrote the words above, I happened across a picture of me my daughter took this weekend and posted on Facebook today. Yikes! Where did that fat guy come from? In my mind I’m still 30 years old and 175 pounds. I think I’ll keep the 30-year-old mindset. However, I have to reclaim my 175 pound body. Let’s see, that means losing….YIKES AGAIN!
Okay, folks, let’s keep up. Today I weigh too much. If I practice what I preach, I will get myself in shape. Therefore, I will report in this blog my success about the first of each month. Feel free to chime in with your comments, advice, encouragement, chastisement, or anything else you think should be said.
This year, 2011, we WILL make ourselves the most attractive we can be at our age and situation in life. You in this with me? Let me know if you will join the effort and we’ll use some of your stories in blogs as we go through the year. Email me at info@JoeBeam.com anytime.