A few years ago I was in a contentious meeting with a group of church leaders., though it had not started that way. At one point, I metaphorically threw up my hands and queried, “Can you at least understand why I feel as I do about this?” One brother intoned, “No, because your emotions do not fit the facts.”

Hmm…emotions…facts…emotions should fit the facts…hmm. No one in the room doubted the accuracy of that declaration. No one that is except for
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A dear friend who is quite literally the most gifted writer I know suggested I read a certain novel to expand my own writing ability. I sent him the following a couple days ago…

After slogging through 64 pages, hacking at extraneous vines of flowing words in hope of discovering an occasional sentence that advanced the plot, even an inch or two, I finally succumbed and gave up the search. If the literary jungle for brilliant writers is that difficult to traverse, I shall swing on the veranda hammock, mosquito net unfurled, insouciantly watching great authors move through that wilderness while harboring a secret pleasure that I am not among them.

QUESTION: Joe, I am going through a divorce. My wife is Christian. She left me due to her feeling that I am controlling. We have been married 16 years. I feel like the kids and I walk on eggshells to keep her happy, and that life is all about her.

We had been working to develop spiritual, then emotional, then finally physical intimacy. My attempts at spiritual went not so well. Anytime anything negative happened, she would end our prayer/Bible times. Emotional intimacy went ok, with some sharing of innocuous stories from before we met.

We have been apart almost six months, and my sexual desire has been difficult to deal with. My wife has recently confessed the same, although rarely in our marriage has she been willing to discuss sex. Anyway, we had sex yesterday, and it was amazing, great for both of us. She pointed out it doesn’t change anything, and she plans to finish the divorce. I feel like it was a gift from God, but don’t see it stopping the divorce. We had a date after sex, and as usual have gotten along better following the sex.

One final thing, for me sex is never just sex; I think it God designed it to be used powerfully. While I am fine with her thinking it was ‘just good sex’, I really want and crave for it to be much more meaningful. What do you think of sex in the midst of divorce of separation?

ANSWER: It’s actually common for couples who are separated or divorced to continue to have sex with
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From my friend Lindsey Osterhoff…

If you are at all a fan of Classic rock, you may know the Eric Clapton song
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Wonderful message from my friend David Matthews….

Years ago, while living in Michigan, I met a couple at a social function visiting from Alabama. “What brings you guys to Michigan?” I asked.

“My dad and mom are in the nursing home here, and it’s my dad’s 90th birthday. We are going to visit them this afternoon, and spend about a week here.”

It turned out that I knew them, and had visited them in the nursing home on numerous occasions. The old man was one of my favorites – tough and ornery – always spoke his mind. I liked him because I had the freedom to always speak my mind with him. I was never afraid to do that -mainly because he was 90, deaf, and confined to a wheelchair. I felt safe with him.
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QUESTION: My wife and I have been married for 56 years. For the past 20+ years she has refused any sexual advances whatsoever, even hugs and kisses. I still have the need but know it is wrong to go outside the marriage for sexual fulfillment.Two widow women older than I are aware of the problem and are willing to meet my sexual needs with no strings attached (intercourse and/or oral). Any advice?
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QUESTION: I have a question about something that has been troubling me: I’ve been teaching my teenage son through books like Every Man’s Battle and Every Woman’s Battle that boys and men should generally avoid masturbation as it could cause impure fantasies and that it can bond their minds with a picture of a sexual act or image instead of with their wives (or future wives). I definitely believe that men need to refrain from solo masturbation and only experience sexual stimulation in the marriage bed with their spouses.

However, I am not totally sure if this caution applies to women and self-stimulation. I know that, just like men, they are not supposed to allow their minds to engage in illicit sexual fantasies. Jesus was very clear in the Scriptures that thoughts of fornication and sexual immorality are wrong for both men and women.

On the other hand,
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The following article is powerful and deeply touching.

It was written by my friend David Matthews. He does a workshop for people working through grief. It could be the grief of losing a loved one to death. It might be the grief of losing a loved one to another person. If you, or someone you know, is working through grief for any reason, I strongly recommend you contact David. You will find his info at the end of this article which may well change your life….
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My friend, Lindsey Osterhoff, wrote the following….

This is what I know about grief…it doesn’t always strike when and how we expect it.  Sometimes it sneaks up on us.  Otherwise, how do you explain being devastated by the sudden loss of an amazing dad and not shedding a tear for hours?  Or days? 

When the grief finally hit a few weeks later,
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Q: “Hello I was wondering is it OK for me to talk about sex with my fiance before we are married? I have heard it said this is important so that we know what our expectations are, is this right? How far is it OK for us to go in our conversation as a Christian couple who are not yet married without it being sin?”

A: Before a couple marries, there are several matters that should be discussed in detail. Sex is one of the areas, but other areas are just as important. We often see couples after marriage that have major problems because
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