Q: How would you know when God sends you your life partner? How would you know that this is him, that this is the man for me?

A: This may sound as if I don’t believe in the power of God, but I am not of the opinion that God always sends every person the mate s/he should have. There isn’t any scripture that I know of that says He will nor one that says how you would know if He did.

I prayed for my daughters’ spouses when they were still young. I asked that God would direct them to a mate that is compatible with their beliefs and values, with their personalities, and with our family as a whole. I believe that God answers prayer, but I didn’t expect God to pick out just one candidate and somehow introduce him into my daughter’s life. He can, of course. But He may just as well work through putting several young men in my daughter’s life so that she can compare, learn the strengths and weaknesses of, and decide which one she would be willing to commit to for the rest of her life.

You see, whoever you marry, you marry a set of problems. Marry that guy and you get a weirdo family. Marry that one and he’s a Mama’s boy. That one over there has self-esteem issues. The one on the corner has tendencies that may lead him to become an addict. No one, and I mean no one, is perfect. Therefore, there is not the perfect person for my daughter. As I said, God may send the best of the lot, or He may just let her choose from those that she interacts with over time. I pray for her opportunity and her wisdom, not that God will have Prince Charming parachute down our chimney.

Don’t waste your time looking for a sign from God as to whether this is the one. Instead, look into the person as deeply as you can to see if he is the man (and the set of problems) that you are willing to spend a lifetime with, flaws and all.

For nearly two years I worked on honing what I have learned about love into one clear model that can be used either by those who are married or those who are single. I call the model (the visual) the LovePath.

Understanding the LovePath guides anyone who understands it through the processes of:

• Falling in love
• Falling more deeply in love
• Or, rescuing lost love

If you are single and wanting to fall, this book is for you.

If you are married and wanting deeper love in your relationship, this book is for you.

If your marriage is dying or dead, this book is for you.

Over the last fifteen years more than 100,000 people have enrolled in courses, seminars, and workshops I developed. They validate the LovePath model as powerful and effective. You can now get that model now by purchasing the book at www.JoeBeam.com.

Just wanted to let you know that beginning next week there will be a Q & A section every Thursday on www.HeartLight.org in which I answer questions about love, sex, and marriage. Because HeartLight is a Christian site, I include Scripture in my answers there.

Check it out.

Love. Some want it. Some had it. Some didn’t like the way it turned out. Some wish to find it again.

If you are currently single, I wish to assist you in falling in love with the right person to marry and live with for the rest of your life. This offer is to both single men and single women. The way I can be of greatest assistance is to teach you the LovePath.

In Your LovePath I show you how people fall in love, what true love is, what makes it happen, what makes it last, and what to do if love falters. It is exactly what the title implies, the path for love. As I told Montel Williams on his TV program, “Falling in love is a process. If you follow the process, you fall in love whether you mean to or not. If you vacate or violate the process, you fall out of love whether you mean to or not.” Those who know and understand the process use it to fall in love and stay in love. Those who don’t just take their chances.

The book, Your LovePath, comes out soon. I can’t sell it to you yet because I don’t have it in hand. However, I can and do offer this. Email me telling me that you are single but want to be in love — a love that will last a lifetime — and why you seek that love. I will read all those emails and choose a person to receive one of the first copies of Your LovePath to come off the press. If you don’t win, I’ll send you a coupon to get a discount on the book.

Send the email to info@joebeam.com. Tell what you seek when it comes to love and why you want the book. Be aware that I may use quotes from various emails in future blogs and such, but I will protect the identity of anyone whose quotes I use. 

Get those emails in ASAP. I’ll choose in a few days.

One couple I know met on a blind date at 8 p.m. and were married by midnight. That was about 35 years ago when things like that were easy to do.

Over the years two men came and sat with me for hours thinking through whether they were ready to marry the woman they were dating. One sat in my office, and a few years later the other sat in my gazebo. Very different situations. Same bottom line. “I know I care for her, but how do I know if I should marry her.”

Dr. Robert Sternberg designed a model to measure love. It measure three important dimensions — commitment, intimacy, and passion. In his book, Cupid’s Arrow, you can find the profile, take it, and compare your scores to what he says are high, medium, and low scores. I like the profile and use it a lot. If you don’t want to buy the book, let me know and I’ll help you find the profile. However, it isn’t so much your score on the profile that will tell you what you need to know as it is comparing your score with the person you think you may be in love with. It gives interesting insight into how similarly or dissimarily you feel about each other. That’s a great thing to know before you pop the question (or answer the question).

If you aren’t interested in the profile, here are a few questions I suggest you ask yourself:

1. How committed am I to this person, especially in terms of what I believe my commitment will be in the future?

2. How open and honest about all my “secrets” can I be with this person without fear that he/she will leave me? (And how open and honest can she/he be without my fearing I might leave if I know those secrets?)

3. How much desire do I have to share everything in my life with this person? My experiences, my dreams, my hobbies, my religion, and everything else that is important to me. In other words, do I want oneness with this person?

Give us more suggestions of what to consider. We’d like to hear.