Kevin McGill reported for the story for the Associated Press. Here are the highlights.

“NEW ORLEANS (AP) — A Louisiana woman is accused of trading two young children in her care for a pet cockatoo and $175 cash from a couple who had been trying for years to have their own child, authorities said Thursday…The transaction for the 5-year-old boy and the 4-year-old girl was negotiated by phone after [she] spotted a flier posted at a livestock barn selling a cockatoo for $1,500 and called the [couple] on Feb. 18…”

Though the woman was a caretaker, she obviously had no right to put the children up for adoption as she told the couple she could. She’s been charged with kidnapping. 

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if people who claim that they wish to help others, who apply for helping positions, or who work for helping organizations, really were what they claimed to be? Maybe I’m becoming cynical but I’m becoming cautious about nearly everyone these days. Will they do what they claim? Are they what they appear to be? 

Though I likely will be hanged from the nearest tree for saying this, I am strongly in favor of stringent and harsh punishment for those who hurt children — physically, sexually, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, etc. — and hope that the court throws the book at this “caretaker” woman. Yes, she may have problems of her own and someone should help her work through her own issues. In prison. Caged like a bird.

It was several years ago, so I’ll leave the participants nameless. Alice and I were watching the Today show when one of the regulars said the word, “snuck” in a sentence. The other regular — in my opinion a somewhat arrogant guy — immediately corrected her right there on live national TV. He informed her that the proper word is “sneaked.” Her face turned sour but being the trooper she was, she braced herself and pressed on. It was obvious to everyone watching that he embarrassed her, but she was not going to make it worse by responding to his correction right then and there. My admiration of her increased; my dislike for him did the same.

The problem is that I’ve done the same thing. Not on national TV, but in public. There have been times over the years when Alice said something and I immediately corrected her right there in front of whomever was present. While that wasn’t as embarrassing to her as it would have been if I’d done it on the Today show, it was embarrassing enough. That became clear when we were finally alone and I learned how badly I hurt her.

Though I tried to do better, and did as we matured, I would still occasionally do that stupid thing. I might again but the odds have dropped considerably. Why? Because I began to understand the emotional humiliation when one of my daughters — no name here — did it to me on more than one occasion. Once she turned to Alice during one of my sermons and said I was wrong in what I had just described. Not in a whisper, mind you, but out loud so that others could hear.  I reaped what I sowed. (Galatians 6:7-8)

She’s a good kid. However, as with her father before her, she had to learn the effect her public correction has on people. Namely, me.

Recently Alice and I were working on a list of ways that spouses demonstrate disrespect to each other. That’s what put this back on my mind. Embarrassing a person is definitely disrespectful. After all, who cares if it’s snuck or sneaked? If any discussion of the right word choice occurs, it must be in the right place at the right time with no possibility of embarrassing the other.

Remember that and you’ll have a much better relationship with your spouse, children, parents, and friends.

I know.

It appears that the experts are at odds again. (Has it ever been any other way?) If you read this article on USA Today, you’ll see what I mean. Some say that today’s teens rate themselves far too highly and that bodes ill for their futures when they inevitably fail or struggle at something. Others say that this strong belief in themselves will give them greater success in life and better ability to achieve their goals.

I’m quite sure that you’re waiting for this expert to weigh in on the subject…(hmm, maybe I’ve reentered my teenage years?)

My son-in-law Lee Wilson, the father of two boys 7 and 4, quickly points out that the Bible says, “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” (Romans 12:3) Of course, in context that was about folks thinking that the spiritual gifts God had give them made them VIPs in the Kingdom, but his point is valid. In II Timothy 3:2, Paul writes negatively about those who are lovers of self.

If you’ve watched the early weeding process on American Idol where kids that have no singing ability come in to face the jovial Randy, the unpredictable Paula, and the grinch named Simon, you’ve seen people who have enormously exaggerated views of their talents.  When they are told they cannot sing, the kind I’m referring to throw tantrums, make threats, and generally act like two-year-olds. I fully expect to see one hold his/her breath until they turn blue and refuse to eat their broccoli.

However, there are those that succeed in life because of the very fact that they did believe in themselves as kids. Remember the story about Jim Carrey writing himself a $20 million check and carrying it in his wallet for years? For those who are older, have you noticed that some kid you went to school with who was obnoxiously self-centered grew up to make a fortune or some other type of success?

So where’s the balance?

Jesus said that we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves. It’s been pointed out for centuries that those who don’t have a proper love for self don’t know how to have a proper love for others. It seems to me that the difference in the love for self that Jesus speaks of and the lovers of selves that Paul writes about is this; acceptance rather than arrogance. If I accept myself as I am, I will love me. That type self-acceptance is not trying to convince myself that I am perfect; it is not ignoring my flaws; it is not blaming all setbacks on someone else and taking all credit for good things. It means that I accept what I am, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is then that I can grow and change and mature because I am not my own worst enemy nor am I my own blinded groupie. I see the things that should be different about me but don’t fall into depression because I have those blemishes. I also see the things that are good about me and feel good about who I am. That’s a great type of self love that provides me the ability to love others by accepting both their good and bad.

So what does that mean to a parent raising a child?

In my opinion it means that you praise the good. You don’t lie to them, even to be nice, by leading them to believe they have gifts they don’t have. I’m not saying be critical. That’s a terrible thing to do to a child. You don’t want your kids growing up thinking that they cannot measure up. You help them learn where their gifts lie and give them just enough encouragement for them to develop at THEIR rate, not YOURs. (God deliver us from any more “stage mothers.”) Help them discover who they are, not what you want to force them to be. And above all, remember the power of acceptance. Love them as they are, the good and the bad, and watch the good take over.

By the way, the best thing you can do for your kids is have a great marriage. If yours isn’t, we can help. See www,joebeam.com.

Just the other day I heard it from another parent, “My kids are growing up. They’ll be leaving for college or work before you know it. I dread losing them.”

Believe me, Alice and I felt the same way each time one of our children ventured into the world to make her own way. It’s tough. However, we also have a child who is 38 who will never grow up and move away. She was brain damaged at birth. Angel operates at about a 7 year old level. She’s a little girl in a woman’s body. We love her and enjoy her being here with us for life. Yet, whenever I feel sad because my other daughters have grown and flown, I think about Angel and all in life that she will miss. Oh, we give her as full a life as possible, and she is a happy person. But she will never have a child, write a book, cook a meal for the people next door, hand out coffee downtown to the homeless, do mission work, or be her mother’s best friend.

As one father told me years ago, “Our job is to help them grow, learn, and mature so that they can leave and make their own way in the world. Have their own lives. Be used by God in the ways He chooses to use them uniquely. Rather than thinking about what you are losing — actually all you lose is their living under the same roof; they’ll always be your child — and what the Kingdom of God and the world gains because you have reared them to succeed in life.”

He’s right. Alice and I still drop into the dumps from time to time as we miss our babies being our babies, but we know that Joanna and Kimberly are making their marks on the world, serving God, and touching lives.

We’re proud of them. And no matter what they do or where they live, they will always be our babies, living in our hearts as a 2 year old, 8 year old, 15 year old, and all those other wonderful memories.

Besides, when we get old we’re moving in with them.